You’re Noisy, Don’t You Even Realize??
No, you don’t. You don’t hear what I hear. Please grant me reprieve from this unsolicited punishment. The popping, the chewing, the off-key singing and loud speaking. The slurping and the nasal huffing. It makes me weak.
Why do I allow this to break me? I feel ill stricken with a disorder of the mind. I look around and no one else seems to notice. I feel my nails dig deeper into my skin. I asked you to consider this and try not to partake in such a habit. You thanked me for my vulnerability yet to continue to push me away with your rackety clatter. I find myself intentionally avoiding being near you.
I notice how I lend to others the power to control my feelings and reactions and it’s time I reclaim it. Why do things need to bother me so? Such an inconvenience. Why can't folks just do whatever makes them happy without making my blood involuntarily boil?
I don't want to be this way since noises are practically everywhere. Just, please, at least not when I'm reading…
Grateful
Rest is nice. Real rest is a luxury most of us don't get to truly experience. Careers draw out most of our energy and time. The time you have leftover you feel obligated to do as much with your passions and social life as possible. All to make the money to spend on things and stuff.
What if the majority of your time was spent living in the moment - on enjoyment and pleasure? You’d need a lot less money to spend since you'd be fulfilled by the passing of daily life. You’d have extra energy for rest and leisure. For philosophy and thought and deep connections. It's a luxury most people never get to experience. Life costs a fortune when you’re fending for yourself.
I am grateful for the present moment, for now, for happiness and simplicity, for flexibility and adventure, for unexpected moments and new connections. For new skills and self confidence. For rest and relaxation and stress free living. For full bellies and happy hearts. For singing harmonies and ecstatic dancing, for biking on new roads and swimming in cold streams.
I continue to be inspired by people following their dreams and passions without solely considering the salary but rather the fulfillment it brings. Maybe you can’t pay for hotel resorts or fancy colleges with the smile on your face, but I’d rather be blessed with the latter.
Today I Dreamed of Having a Baby: (Whoa brain, pump the breaks)
Why did this bright sunny vision of me with a big pregnant belly standing in a flowing white gown by a window over a farmhouse kitchen sink imprint so vividly in my mind today? I haven’t been thinking of this at all or even remotely planning for it, yet it felt so wholesome and warm. I shed a tear at the thought of my matriarchs all standing around me holding my baby, welcoming her and thanking the heavens for such a special little gift. I don’t actually want to become a mother just yet, yet my body knows that one day that will come and she is preparing me for that overwhelming feeling of unconditional love that I have never experienced before. I saw us living in community where many close friends take turns caring for this child while I work in the gardens and get to teach them about the plants and all the critters to discover on the land.
The simplicity of it all is the most beautiful part of all.
My mother is there to bounce and hold them while her daughter grows the vegetables and feeds the chickens and ducks and stirs the soup pot and steams the rice.
The straightforward timeless act of living authentically and for the sake of enjoying the loved ones were so blessed to have.
Chicken Stock
Bubbling, simmering, reducing to rich gold liquid Minerals and medicine brewing in the stock pot Passing the plate around to save the bones to ensure every morsel of bird is savored and utilized later to be boiled down dotted with carrots, onions, celery Destined to be soup or congee a nourishing pot of self love.
Day 35
Awaiting, patiently & tenderly my flow, asking her to come gently in time Welcoming her with a dance party a celebration of womanhood Being in tune, in touch is a gift. The feeling of self knowing, understanding lets me have patience [for myself] for my ebbs and flows, my fire and my water, my cavewoman and my ballerina, I'm ready for her arrival.
Reminder
thank you for this healing this healing food food is nourishment food is fuel food is energy food is shared sometimes the flavor is off sometimes the texture is not right sour, slimy, salty, bland it's still food its okay to eat it anyway Tomorrow will be a new day to make different foods 12 mouths is a lot to feed Release the pressure (pshhhh) peoples' bellies are full and you did that. Let someone else cook for you for once... you deserve it.
“Let someone else cook for you once...” lovely ❤️